Patrick Nichols

Former College Student. Full Time Nerd.

What comes to mind first? Soylent, while I personally think their founder is a nut job and most likely wrong, I don’t believe he is trying to scam anyone. His ego truly believes in his product. Next I suppose you could suggest anything built by Lucius Fox or Tony Stark, like the city wide cell phone surveilance in The Dark Knight, but those are movies and Slate is just click-bait. The best I can think of comes from NPR.

Square Trees?

As hopefully many of you are, I’m an NPR, specifically NHPR, listener and contributor (through their amazon affiliate link), though I didn’t pick up the habit as part of some hipster revival. My dad and I listened to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Car Talk (RIP Tom), and All Things Considered in the car as a much needed respite from his awful Jimmy Buffet CDs...


I digress, but on one particular April 1st, we heard about the new scientific breakthrough that would revolutionize the lumber industry and pulverize the mulch, paper, and MDF manufacturers. These new square trees would make lumber mills much more efficient and leave little scraps for the rest. I’m not sure how the changes to the grain would effect rigidity, but maybe some one here would like to expand on that. It even got picked up by the Associated Press before they realized the convenient date of publication...

Listen to the whole segment and other of New Hampshire Public Radio’s best pranks over on their website.

Honorable Mentions

Flying Penguins, Telepathic Tweeting, Dragons, and more


The Devel Sixteen


Everything about the Journal of Irreproducible Results

Worst of the Worst

Don’t Be These Guys. Just Don’t


Have Anything Better?

Patrick Nichols is a graduate of Saint Anselm College, where he received his BA in Mathematics. Other than numbers, he enjoys sports (especially hockey), beer, cars, outdoor activities in general, and plants. He’s also the mod over at for anyone interested in math stuff.

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